Children’s stories laden with excessive profanity
If you’ve ever wished Little Red Riding Hood would grow a pair of balls and tell the Big Bad Wolf to go eat a bag of dicks, this website is for you. We write original stories designed to show children that the world a cruel and harsh, but hilarious place. So kick off your shoes, grab a beer, and select a story below—it’s Pottymouth Storytime!
A children’s story about three little pigs who are complete bastards
A children’s story in which a mouse eats a scone instead of dealing with Existential angst
A children’s story in which a belligerent alcoholic pigeon repeatedly asks for alcohol
Want to see more?
Pottymouth Storytime is a collaboration of writer Brandon Gregory and illustrator Christian Robinson. We were tired of regular children’s stories, which were just not fucking cool enough and need to be at least 20% cooler. You can read more about us and this project in our FAQ.